Date Ideas For Married Couples Who Forgot How to Date
My husband I missed out on being newlyweds when we eloped, and again, after our big wedding. We had a rough go in the beginning of our relationship, to be honest. Marriage is a huge adjustment for anyone and takes some time to learn how to live and communicate with one another in healthy ways. Looking back, we realized part of our mistake was that we rarely dated each other for the first three years of our marriage due to family, work, and financial distractions (and excuses, admittedly).
Finally, we now are beginning to really date and romance one another. What changed our marriage? It was our honeymoon that we took much later after our wedding! Two weeks away in Hawaii adventuring and resting allowed us to get to know each other once again. It opened our eyes that we needed more of that in our daily lives. Through our first two years of marriage we weren't able to date each other much, and even when we did, it was only getting food to avoid cooking. They weren't true dates most of the time, where the focus was spending time together and on one another.
In 2019 we want to approach dating differently.
Among a list of 19 Goals for 2019 that can be found on my vblog, my husband and I came up with our own personal list for ideas for our 19 Dates for 2019. We decided to try a more planned approached so we would get out of our typical date rut!
I needed some help thinking beyond take out, so I asked my Facebook friends for their "hive mind" ability to come up with great ideas for Hubby and Wifey dates . Boy, we got some GREAT IDEAS! I was asking for a personal goal of going on 19 different dates for 2019 with my husband yet, it was too good not to share with others. The list of great ideas became long, so I will share with you a consolidated list.
Here are dates for married couples they came up with:
- Go to animal shelters to volunteer and get some pet snuggles
- Kayaking or paddle boarding
- Check out natural wonders in your area, like caves or taverns
- Couples' cooking class
- Cake decorating class (or, baking and decorating at home)
- See a local play
- Get mani/pedi's
- The Penny date
- Look for local wineries (great in spring/summer) that host bands and serve meals
- Thrift store shopping
- Give each other a massage night or feet washing (Here's why Christians participate in this and is so sweet for spouses)
- Book a spa day or couples massage
- Play different board games (cooperative games can be even better for dates!)
Two different dates boxes were recommended that you can get online and have shipped to your door. In fact, one was recommended by a pair of husband and wife clients of mine, who both look forward to their date boxes every month:
Night in Box (This one has Christian faith based options)
Our Date Ideas
Thus far, up to this Valentine's day 2019 we've had four dates. Two out of the four of them, my husband initiated. He lovingly said to me "Baby, can I take you out on a date tonight?" Generally, it's been weeknights. He opened the door for me and picked out the restaurants (we like food, clearly). Last night, for instance, he took me on a pre-Valentine's day dinner to Thai food. I asked him, "Why Thai?" because we have only been to Thai together a few times because he doesn't like it much. He said, "Because my Wifey likes Thai and I found a place that had great reviews and I wanted to take you." TOTAL romantic fireworks going on here with the thought he put into his decisions!
We've gathered a few more ideas that we plan to do over the year. A lot of these are Northern California specific, but let this be a list of general ideas for you that are personal to your area:
- Eating take out by our Fire Pit
- Go to the Movies
- Hiking and a picnic
- "Taco Tuesday" at our favorite downtown cantina in Sacramento.
- Go to a sports bar to watch a game and eat wings
- Mini golf
- "Adult" golf
- Dinner in Napa Valley (we live close by)
- Trip to Santa Cruz for a day or two (I've never been!)
- Visit Old Town Sonoma (see one of the California Missions)
- Hiking Sands Beach in South Lake Tahoe (where we eloped!)
- Visit to Muir Woods to see the Giant Redwood Trees
- Camping trip for our anniversary
- Try salsa dancing class together
- Go to a wedding (we have 4 planned to go to this year)
- Riverboat cruise
- Mystery dinner theatre
- Baseball game
- Basketball game
- Try an escape room
- Go visit a Cat Cafe
- Walk on the beach in san Francisco (I've never figured out how to get to it)
- Local wine and chocolate Festival
- New Year's Eve 2020! Go to a bangin' party! (It is going to be a special NYE since we'll be in the "20's" again so this time,I'm willing to go out.)
"52 Dates in a Jar" my mom got us for even more ideas:
- Go to a zoo (ideally a petting zoo)
- Go photographing architecture you love
- Plan scavenger hunts for each other
- Take a salsa dancing lesson and dance the night away
- Enjoy a middle of the week fancy dinner at home
- Go pick your own fruit and bake a pie
- Blindfold your partner and feed them various forms of fruit
- Take a walk in the park together
- Dress up fancy, get take-out food, and serve champagne
- Go for a sunday bike ride to brunch
- Make a heart shaped pizza together
- Game night!
- Tailgate at a park or lake
- Be a tourist in your own town
- Prepare an "around the world" meal of dishes from different cultures
- Go for a drive to a place you've always wanted to check out
- Visit a farmers' market and get ingredients for dinner (and flowers too)
- Make sangria and pretend you're in Barcelona
- Research inexpensive and good wines and host a tasting party
- Find five fountains to toss coins into and make wishes for each other
- Enjoy a meal that has to be eaten entirely with toothpicks
- Show up at a bar separately and pretend like you just met
- Go visit the place where you had your first date
- Drive in movies. Bring a cooler and food.
- Enjoy a local microbrewery
As married couples, we need to continue to nurture our relationships in a variety of ways no matter how new our relationship is or how many years it has been since saying "I do." We need to show each other that we "still do."
It is completely understandable that finances, family planning, and work scheduling may get in the way, but even a "date" of five minutes a day of private time to connect and talk at home is really important and obtainable. Ideally both partners desire to make this happen, however, my husband and I can completely sympathize (because we've experienced it ourselves) that due to distractions, scheduling, and depression from life responsibilities, sometimes a partner can just check out. However, keep committed to your marriage. Go on those dates regardless! I've listed some cost effective ones as well so there should be something for everyone.
In all of your dates, no matter how fancy it is or at home for free, having fun is important but so is the conversations. That's where the real bonding is! Having a list of topics to ask can help dig deeper past talking about daily life into heart connections and memories. Here's a good list to get the conversations going.
Take some selfies along the way to remember the good times and keep those memories growing for your future when you look back.
Keep Dating. Keep Loving. It truly matters for your marriage.
About the Author
Massage Therapist. Youtuber. Blogger. Christian. Entrepreneur. Wifey and Bonus Mom. Plant Junkie. Cat Lady. Donut Enthusiast.